Sweet Tea & Swag

      Adam Cable is filled with intellect and possesses a knack for finding great bargain deals on electronics. Adam is also gentle, hilarious, and open to learning about other’s experiences. What I’ve enjoyed most about working with Adam and forming a friendship with him is that he is one of the few queer identified gay males I know. Our conversations usually take place in a local coffee shop or my kitchen and revolve around gay culture. Our talks span from classic culture—as in Rupaul, gay bars, and Stone Butch Blues to more current radical theory on a daily. We like to break down queer indie films, and discuss why they are often low-budget and unimpressive. Some days we critique Lady Gaga and get angry at how she uses queer society for her personal gain. We check out cute boys, bois, and femmes on tumblr. He likes it when I’m out spoken. It may sound like Adam and I are just two queers that sit around and analyze things but we try to be solution orientated as well. Adam is the Information Director for his university’s collective space for LGBTQ organization called Alliance. Adam also works with my organization, Just Us For All, and we organize queer community events in Asheville. Adam and I are the creators of this blog. We consistently push one another in our projects that nine out of ten times pertain to bettering queer civilization.

Interview:

#1 How do you identify?
I identify as a queer gay male. I think ‘queer’ is an important element to my identity because I feel I don’t align or identify with homonormative culture and politics to a large extent. I also identify as gay because I think guys are hot and it’s the ‘fast’ way of acknowledging that I am primarily attracted to male-bodied and male-identified individuals. However this has been a source of major internal dialog because, as I am becoming more comfortable in myself, I am unsure as to whether or not ‘gay’ is being a little too limiting. I want to be open to the possibilities of attraction based not on clearly delineated attributes but to the person and where they are at, though I am unsure if this is something that is simply an ‘ideal’ or ‘where I am heading’. So, my sexual/what-have-you identity isn’t totally secure at the moment but I feel these questions are a part of a healthy process so I try to not feel too nervous about it. I also identify as an artist, student, and hummus advocate.

#2 Where are you from?
Asheville, NC to Kannapolis, NC to Asheville once more. Asheville is my birthplace, both in the physical sense and in the more personal way. I grew up in Asheville and moved to Kannapolis when I was seven, then moved back to attend UNC-Asheville as an art major with a photography concentration.

#3 When did you move to Asheville?
In 2010 for school, as well as to break away from my parents and come out ‘safely’. It was probably the most important decision of my life, and I’m so grateful to be here.

#4 How has living in Asheville, NC impacted your queer identity?
This is a very complex question. I moved to Asheville knowing I was gay, identifying as such, but not having any sort of experience related to it. In many ways, the relationships and concepts I found myself dealing with helped mold my thoughts at a very immature point. Due to an extremely negative coming out reaction from my parents, being confronted with homelessness, figuring out how to live on my own, and having physical and romantic relationships with other men I was immediately thrust into a ‘learn fast or go under’ mindset. In many ways it’s kind of incredible that I’m able to write this right now and look back at just how much has changed in a year and ten months, but at the same time I feel I have so much further to go in regard to actually living as a queer-identified individual. I feel like trying to live in a state of conceptually-grounded fluidity and constantly striving to ‘understand’ are queer, but at the same time I sometimes wonder if I compartmentalize myself too much to actually be queer. I think my identity as queer is something that is constantly evolving, and in some ways I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s scary, but it’s also comforting.

#5 What are the positive attributes to living in Asheville and with those attributes in mind is there anything you think needs work and what do you hope to see for your community in the future?
Asheville is great for learning and finding oneself because there is space for questioning (to an extent) and so many of the people I know are in a constant state of fast-paced change and discovery. However, I feel like we could do so much more. We’re very white-centric in thinking as a community, have many unacknowledged privileges, and don’t do enough of reaching out to those who make us uncomfortable. I say this as an acknowledgement of my own struggles as well as those our community struggles with. I think Asheville also has major issues with consent and boundaries, it’s a huge problem, and I hope that through more illumination and dialog we can work to change this.

Summer months are always hard for me, personally, because I am a cancer and for whatever reason July is like my January in terms of the new year. I unintentionally utilize my birthday as a time to create resolutions and it’s a natural time for me to look at myself. It’s never planned. I more often then not go into June believing that the following months are going to be care-free and the best time of my life. I literally get excited and swell with the possibilities of all the fun I can have in the Summer but it’s usually just a very trying time for me. This season is such a hectic time for most people and I know Adam has had a rough go with it as well this year. Now that Autumn is nearing Adam and I are trying to focus more on art and projects including this one. 

The French Broad Chocolate Lounge is quite a remarkable and inspiring place for me. It’s surprising that such an upscale coffee house and chocolate spot would be something that I hold so close to me. I fear that it will be hard for me to write about the uniqueness of the establishment without sounding bias due to the fact that, after being a long time regular at the shop, I started working there this past May. Even as an employee there I’m still moved by past and present encounters, meetings, and friendships I’ve built there while sipping coffee, eating chocolate, laughing, and now working. The other day I ran up to the second floor and I saw my past self two years ago forming a best friendship. She had her camera and I remember being in awe with how the sunlight hit her blonde hair and her press pot of tea as we learned about one another after working Sunday brunches. There are snippet memories of me buying a truffle before a date for almost any girl I’ve taken on a date. Occasionally, I will walk past a certain table and see a time where my organization came up with some inspirational concept or I had an argument with someone in the group. I remember my first encounter with so and so, and oh, there’s that one corner where I kissed you and everything changed. The place not only exudes delightful scents from all of its delicious goods but the aroma also has something else unusual about it and I think it’s the scent of the businesses principles. The staff is incredibly friendly, gregarious, joyful and true. Adam and I spent this past Monday processing our Summer surrounded by a baby blue and chocolate brown backdrop known as The Chocolate Lounge. As Bon Iver’s Pandora radio station played Adam snapped photos of me while I talked about my most recent trip home to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 

#1 How do you identify?

A: This is a tough question for me. I feel like I’ve spent the past year really trying to find a way to sum up who I am and how I identify in one word. After a year of dabbling, I haven’t really gotten anywhere in terms of how to answer this question. I feel like my presentation and confidence level has definitely improved through self exploration in this area but I don’t think I can be categorized as anything really. I like to refer to myself as a butch. You will also hear me say queer, homo, dyke, boi, femme-butch, and gender queer. In the long run, I think I personally strive towards and would solely like to identify as a feminist. 

#2 Where are you from?

A: I was born in Toms River, NJ but moved to Myrtle Beach, SC when I was ten.

#3 When did you move to Asheville?

A: August 2, 2006

#4 How has living in Asheville, NC impacted your queer identity?

A: I feel like Asheville promotes self care. Regardless of how much people like to judge that aspect of Asheville, I think it’s a really great part of living here. You hear terms get thrown around here that you wouldn’t in many other places in the south. In some ways it can be annoying because the support seems to be most visible and rooted in the privileged, white, heteronormative majority of this city occasionally through re-appropriation of other cultures.Regardless, the cities message is something that many other cities don’t recommend. Asheville endorses a few things:
- local: which to me, says community.
- expression
- healing

I think I moved here very broken and insecure and through picking up on these subtleties I unexpectedly felt like maybe I could be apart of something. After two years of living here I got sober and from there I really started to be able to come to terms with being gay, firstly, and then later I was able to expand on my queer identity through the support of the wonderful, tight knit, queer community here. It was a process. I definitely did not have a white light experience when I arrived to town I was not at all like, ”I’m here and now I’m queer”. It was more like, “I’m here and scared shitless and I hate everything about myself.”

#5 If you could see a few changes occur in the Asheville community, what would they be?

A: I would love to see more unity among the LGBT folks and queers of all different political, racial, and socio-economic backgrounds. The next thing I dream of seeing would be a shift in people’s consciousness around consent, boundaries, language, and dating in general. I think improvements here could really strenthen us. I’ve really been struggling watching my fellow queers fall into co-dependent relationships, I know I’ve struggled with it myself, and understand how it feels to be marginalized and feel like you need something to validate you. When these relationships form that couple turns into an island and they are stagnant and separate from change and pretty delusional.A clear example of boundaries/language/relationships is how and when people use the word partner. The term was coined for people that live in partnerships not recognized by the state (gay or straight) it wasn’t created for people that have been attached to the hip for two months.  To me, all the transformations I hope to see are stemmed in people’s insecurities and fears. Insecurity and fear have the potential to destroy oneself and others, or at least it can really just slow you down and be painful. So, what’s a solution to this? Openness and support for one another and I’ll go ahead and say it, spending time with yourself and learning to love who you are. So, a fair balance of community and self care.

Every Sunday the Asheville based organization, Just Us For All, meets and works on ways to educate the public on queer issues and ways to improve them in the community. After the meetings, Adam and I have dinner with Holly Garrell who is the focus of today’s post. We ate at Mamacitas last night because Adam really wanted cheap chicken. Mamacitas is located downtown and its set up like a Subway restaurant but it creates truly fresh and killer Tex- Mex meals. The music they play sounds like a combination of Bjork and Selena.

At dinner the three of us give one another “updates” on the relationships we’re in, jobs we’re working, the projects we’re creating, and what we hope for ourselves and one another in the future. Adam and I alone are more inclined to be tender with our words and jokes, slightly more serious, and behave like an old married couple in general. When Holly is added to the equation to two of us we lighten up, laugh more, and tend to vocally write editorials on issues aloud. I think Holly can bring this part of her personality to most situations when she’s comfortable and bring those aspects out of people at the same time. It makes for a really unadulterated fun interaction. At one point Adam asked Holly, “Which strain of tomato do you most closely identify with?” Straight faced and without blinking or hesitating Holly answered, “The Big Boy. For sure. The Early Girl coming in a close second.”

Holly is mine and Adam’s fag and we are her hags. 

#1 How do you identify?

A: “I identify, honestly, first and foremost as a cook and a writer because I don’t think about my gender or sexuality when I think of myself. Ever since I was fifteen I’ve known that I was half male and half female. It’s not an outward appearance seen by the public, it’s just something I know about myself. If you had to define me it would probably be gender queer. I don’t care if people call me “she” due to my presentation but gender neutral pronouns are really awesome and I think everyone should use them.”

*Before I ask the next question Holly says, “Why don’t you just use your computer when you do these things? Typing is a lot faster then writing by hand.”

I looked up from my note pad with a smirk, “Using pen and paper is just so classic though.”

She smiled, “You’re such a sentimental person, I bet if there was an easy way to lug around a typewriter to do these interviews you would.”

I laughed, “You’re absolutely right.”

#2 Where are you from?

A: I grew up in NJ but I’ve lived in a lot of different places.

#3 When did you move to Asheville?

A: 2005

#4 How has living in Asheville, NC impacted your queer identity?

A: “Well, my time spent in Asheville has been split between two stages. There was my time studying at Warren Wilson (college) and my time after. My queer identity truly started developing 2 years ago after I graduated from Wilson. Warren Wilson is sort of an insular community. In the past two years I think that my identity was really impacted by dating a trans person for a year. I learned more about transgender and what that means in terms of what they go through and it gave me a lot more respect for the trans community. Overall though, I’ve gained more radical views the past two years.”

#5 If you could see a few changes occur in the Asheville community, what would they be?

A: “Don’t even get me started, Oh my God. People need to stop being so elitist and acting superior as if they’re the only enlightened people in the world. Basically, people really need to open up a bit. There’s also a really big issue in Asheville around general manners and boundaries. Those two things are under rated in this town and they are so important. On that topic, we need to work on consent as well, not just sexually, but consent in social situations and in friendship.” 

Photo: Adam Cable

Writings: Sam Soper

Asheville, NC tells time in multiple ways. First there is “Hipster Time” which requires a person to be 5 to 10 minutes late to an appointment or gathering due to stopping for PBR or because the vintage analog watch they have on doesn’t actually tell time. A common occurrence in Asheville is “Liberal Parent Time” which consists of the Montessori School parking lot traffic being the cause of play dates to start late. It’s most visible as the frazzled parent arrives to a park with organic fruit roll ups in their back pockets,children in their arms, and bags under their eyes . We can’t forget “Hippy Time” which looks exactly how it sounds, people show up late and stoned or they don’t show up because they stayed home and got stoned.  Lastly, there is “Queer Time”. Queer time ensues due to the affect of one outfit change inspiring another outfit change/addition to the outfit, which inspires another outfit,after another.Lastly, there is a queer persons utter ability to NEVER remember their keys, camera, or the fact that booty shorts are always better so they need to change again. 

Yesterday evening I anxiously texted Adam and our subject for today’s blog post,Caroline, on my way to The Admiral in West Asheville, NC  to let them know that I would be twenty minutes late to dinner.I arrived first and they did not respond until ten minutes after I arrived “late” to tell me that they were parking. This is how we work. We always apologize for being late but nobody ever really cares and dinner is best at 9:30pm vs 9:00 pm anyhow. 

As the three of us caught up with one another, laughed, and talked about social change a wonderful soundtrack with an assortment of indie bands draped us in a warm hospitable tone. A few names that I can drop from last night’s playlist are M. Ward, Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Neutral Milk Hotel, and Waves. Dinner was exquisite.The three of us tried tartare for the first time and were completely blown away.  We shared small plates and personal secrets with one another.

The Admiral is a place where people of the counter culture can feel refined and as if they have ownership in a classy establishment. The Admiral looks like a dive bar from the 1950’s but serves $25.00 entrees and their home made ginger ale made with clove is sort of like my holy water. All I needed was a communion wafer and I would have had a religious experience with that soda. I suggested The Admiral for Caroline’s shoot because she is classic, distinctive, and authentic in her presentation; a lot like The Admiral.

The Interview:

#1 How do you identify?

A: ” In this era I’d say “femme”. It’s protective drag. Sometimes queer but that has nothing to do with my identifying as a female-bodied female identifying person who likes other female bodied female identifying people. Often I say “bi-sexual”, I get a bit sour reaction when that word or that identifier is tossed out. Consistently? I’m a dyke- a fat one. “

#2 Where are you from?

A: ” I’m from Asheville..more towards Mars Hill, I went through the N. Buncombe County School District.”

#3 How do you, personally, define the term queer?

A: “I feel like queer is a reaction and it shouldn’t be viewed as something you’re inherently going to come to. I definitely define it as a verb but mostly as a reaction to what’s been handed to you. “

#4 How has Asheville, NC impacted your queer identity?

A: “Well, I think that having Asheville as a home town and back drop has given me many things to react against. Recently, I’ve been pondering on how growing up in Asheville- I didn’t think white people culturally appropriating things from other cultures was an issue, or wrong. Having a strong influx of people move here from outside of Asheville forced me to have different types of conversations. I don’t think Asheville gives me a queer identity. I feel like I’ve met so many people from other areas that have shared their experiences with me and it’s those influences which help me create my queer identity.”

#5 What do you see in the future in terms of being queer in Asheville?

A: ” I don’t really plan on being in Asheville for that much longer but I’ll be very interested and invested in what comes of queer Asheville.”

Today Adam and I officially launched this Sweet Tea and Swag web site. We sat in The Green Sage Cafe, located in downtown Asheville, NC. He and I spent the better part of our day working on the logistics of this project as well as finished our kick starter proposal.

“Okay, well now what do we do? Should I step outside and try to find a queer?” I asked

Adam laughed, “Go outside, throw a rock, and just see if you hit one.”

I stood up and walked outside. As I hit the pavement, to my surprise and without any rock throwing, there was the vibrant and lovely Kasundrah standing at the cross walk waving at me. Yes, people, Asheville is just that queer. 

So, without further ado here is our first interview:

#1 How do you Identify?:

A: “Queer, to a point..”

#2 When did you come out?

A: “2005”

#3 Where are you from?

A:” Erie, Pennsylvania- it’s in N. East Pennsylvania.”

#4 How does living in Asheville, NC affect your queer identity?

A: “It gives me one.”

#5 What do you appreciate from your experiences living in the south east?

A: “I came to Asheville to escape oppression. At home, there was essentially no place for queer expression or identity formation in terms of self exploration or growth. Being here provides a queer culture and and community like I’ve never experienced before.”

Sam and buckets of stickers idea…